Kara, if you are enjoying his company then be happy with that.You need to come to terms with the fact that although he likes you a lot, and why wouldn't he,he is not really "in love" with you.

You need to remind yourself of this fact and come to terms with the realisation that you are a "Friend With Benefits".

Nothing wrong with that these days as there is plenty of it going on and as long as you can keep the relationship at arms length (so to speak) then you will be OK.

Falling "in love" with him is not the answer.If you want to "fall in love" then keep looking elsewhere.In fact, even if you are a FWB you should still keep looking and I thik you will find he will be more interested as well.

That my two bobs worth for what it is.

Good luck to you !!!!

Hi kara,if he has gone back to his wife what is that actually saying to you babe.I just wish i had meet youas you sound like a kewwl chick. love to chat to you try d.ra.vide@hotmail.com which state do you live in ?

My dear Scorpio, if you read Kara's post carefully she appears to be aware of her situation and is quite happy for the relationship to continue. She seems to be seeking an affirmation that this is acceptable (which I think it is).

I can't see that "revenge of the sisterhood" is going to have any real affect on her relationship.

Good luck to her I say, at least she is getting some action.

Oh by the way, what is wrong with perving at 30yr old married women, nothing like a nice MILF to pass the time at a boring wedding.HeHeHe !!!

CYA !!!

thearrow

My dear Scorpio,

Are you having a bad day or something ????

Where did that come from ????

You need to understand the post by Kara is about Kara not the wife of the man she is having a relationship with. It is Kara who has asked for advice and it is to Kara that I have given my advice.

She says "I am happy with him and am not jealous or agrieved that he is with his wife".

So good luck to her. As long as she is happy with the situation what is the problem ????

I apologise about my flippant remark about perving as it must have been an unerving experience for you. But please understand that is all I am apologisng for.

I don't understand how you can bring STD's into the arguement if these two ADULTS are having a relationship of sorts good luck to them.

It sounds like to me that you are the one who is bitter and twisted. Maybe you should get down off your soapbox and understand that adults are quite capable of making decisions for themselves.

I think you are the one who has been badly burned !!!

Come on fess up and tell us your story.

1-Important to know kara is your age? Will you want children and a secure life for them in the future- if so would you then be able to accept 2nd best?

2- Your age ? How old are you? Thats very relevant.

If your an older woman is this a feeling of "Ill never find love like this again?" or if your younger you maybe have time for this to burn hot then burn out and still find a real partner who can give you what you deserve.


You ask...

"Question = I feel happy with him, and am not jealous or agrieved he is with his wife etc , so, why am I not jealous or agrieved????"

Because you believe he doesnt love his wife, that he only loves you. Its what you cling to.




"I want him, but I have never thought of asking him to leave his wife etc, and I dont know why I am so complacent about all of this. "

Depends on how long youve been in this 'thing'.The rose coloured glasses are still untainted.

"Am I the perfect affairee, or am I heading for a fall? "

When all said and done your heading for a very big fall, make no mistake.

If you accept that then fine, enjoy the ride, but it wont pay to be plagued by a conscience

I think you are the one who has been badly burned !!! "

I think you could be right.

My dear Scorpio, can't you see that what Kara is saying is that she does not feel guilty or worried at all that the "sisterhood" might get her one day. The issue here is not whether she should have an affair or not that is a decision she has already made (like it or not).

You are obviously quite religous and whilst applying traditional Christian/Judeo principes to your own life this does not neccesarily apply to others. That is a decision you have made for yourself and good luck to you.

For some people sex does not neccesarily equal love (a difficult concept for you to grasp). Sex for some people is an indoor sport and good luck to them that is a decision they have made as adults.

The point really is that as an adult they can make decisions for themselves and it is not your business or mine to be lecturing people about a decision they have made as an adult.Like it or not that is the way it is. If an adult decides to put an existing relationship at risk then that is a decision that have made and they have to live with that.

You might disagree with me and that is your right but don't harrangue me about my values as I have a right to disagree with you; which I do.

The only thing Kara has done is make a decision for HERSELF.

okay, here's my opinion, and you're not going to like this much....

You're seeing a married man! You know very well he's married. If he loved you, he wouldn't be back with his wife. So he's enjoying the sex (assuming you're having sex... i didn't read all the posts.... too long).

So knowing all this, are you still seeing him???

If you are, I can tell you what you are.... a hoe. Would you like it some day if your husband was seeing another woman? I bet the answer is NO. So stop seeing him. If you have stopped, i take back everything i said and i apologise.

Now I must go..... there are others in need.....

I have read with a combination of interest and amusement the posts since I placed mine.

Its a topic that will create rather inflammed comments and personal attacks. Which is par for the course.

I dont need to read any more opinions, I have worked it out for myself.

My karama is perfectly in proportion - goodness vs selfish behaviours.

I have no regrets, and like where I have now placed myself.

I am not going to be specific in saying whether I have concluded the affair or not, its my story.

I do have one comment to make - tis rather comical to be compared to a garden instrument......